A guy named BJ

Back in the late 80s, I was in year four. I went to a school with a guy named BJ. I’m not sure if that was the guy’s initials. I’d imagine he would have asked people to stop calling him BJ after it became the colloquial term for a head job. But there still would have been some old mate showing up every now and again saying, "Hey BJ, how you going?"

I think there’s something in that for all of us, don’t you?

Aviary turtle

I once left a turtle in a bird aviary. I thought it had escaped because I could not find it. Six-month later I found it in the cage under some straw. It was still alive. True story.

Turtle hole

I once stuck my hand in a hole in the edge of a creek bed which was submerged underwater. I pulled out a turtle the size of a twenty-cent piece. .

Three sheep purchase

At one point whenever I’d go to the mall as a kid, my sister and I would look for scratched scratchies to see if they had won, as normally if you scratched off three of the same items you’d win.

With one particular type of $1 scratchie, you only had to match two of the items to win $2.

One day on my search for scratchies I found a folded up $50 note on the ground. I purchased 3 sheep with that money. True story.

Be a frog

My younger sister Miranda once said, "When I grow up I want to be a frog!" True story.

Pissy face Browne

When I was six and living on the farm. I took a piss in the orchard while holding onto some oranges I had picked. I had accidentally dropped one of the oranges during the pissing process. I then proceeded to pick it the orange while still pissing. The result was that I pissed all over my own face. True story.