Will is now 21. His mum and I shared custody while he was growing up. I made a lot of mistakes with him. I was raising him in the grips of poorly treated mental illness, along with some wrong ideas about what makes a good parent.

Kids are more resilient than we give them credit for. I did some damage, not through lack of love or care, but through sickness and ignorance. Still, Will has grown into a loving, responsible young adult, thanks in large part to his mum.

Grace is 6. With her, I have the benefit of age, hindsight, and a loving partner in her mum. I’ve also had some parenting education through the Circle of Security program, which I’d recommend to anyone raising kids.

With Grace, our goal has been to give her a secure attachment. We’re not perfect parents, but we get the love part right, and she’s blossoming into a wonderful human being.