Identity

At this point, I have a deep, lived understanding of relationships. I’ve spent years getting things wrong, working through an insecure attachment style, and learning through both experience and psychology. I’ve written a book called The Embodiment of Love. It’s prose poetry, but underneath that it lays out my philosophy on love and relationships. That said, relationships are easier when you have a good partner. My wife, Liz, is a big part of why ours works. I’ve been faithful to her since we started dating, and I intend to stay that way for the rest of my life. Christian philosophy, and the writings of Paul the Apostle, have also shaped how I think about love, especially the idea of caring for your partner in a way that allows them to flourish.

Background

I made plenty of mistakes as a young man. I cared more about notches on my belt than caring for someone deeply. I idolised women, but didn’t treat them as human beings. I didn’t really see them.

That changed over time. I had to confront my own patterns, and unlearn a lot of what I thought I knew about relationships.

I met my wife in a mental institution, at the lowest point in my life. It was the worst day I’d ever had, and somehow, it led to her. I was lucky. Things could have easily gone the other way, a string of broken relationships and a very different life.

I’ve never taken her for granted. I’ve tried to stay open and honest with her, and as we’ve grown, we’ve grown closer. We keep learning, adjusting, and shaping each other over time.

It’s a joy to have her in my life. To see it any other way would be missing the point.