Thanks to the internet I have seen more pussy than Ye Olde Kings of Europe!

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I no longer wack off in shopping malls! #LessonLearnt

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Small things amuse small minds, that’s why I know there’s a girl out there for me!

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My wife’s a prude, she refuses to wear the gimp suit on Sundays!

I love to get dirty and cover myself in plates!

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Notes