The Main Feed

My wife says, 'That's hilarious!' Instead of laughing

If I drank as little water as my wife does every day, I would die. I wonder if it is an asian thing; do asian people need to drink less water?

I'm proud of how well I do despite my schizophrenia diagnosis. Maybe I'm just lucky I don't have a worse version of it; maybe I have schizophrenia light, maybe I have a different version called schizocoloidal A type, level 4.

My wife Liz is going from strength to strength, kicking once-unimaginable goals, while I'm writing silly words for a non-existent reader; everything is right with the world.

My daughter is a sweet angel full of love who's also my own personal in-house terrorist, a fifth column, if you will.

It's that time of year when I have to get back into the garden, at least for a stretch. I hate bending down. Gardening 101: Bend down! Take away the bending; I'd love that shit.

I've created a monster by being too generous with my daughter; she always wants to buy shit, and she's a fantastic negotiator. I need to make a new rule: I don't negotiate with terrorists.

Becoming less caring and not giving a fuck is the new black; this while the world burns, great combo, guys, great combo!

I get possessed by what I do, get tunnel vision, and think of nothing else; my current focus is this website.

If people knew the full functionality of rickybrowne.com. I'd win a Nobel Prize.