Australia 80s & 90s. The bad good old days

• A man was judged by how fast he could scull a beer and how many he could drink.
• A dingo stole my baby!
• A A P T smart chat was cool
• Aerobics Aus Style was loved by teen boys for all the wrong reasons
• African-American pop-culture pervaded sections of a young Australian male audience. And they, including me, were walking around in baggy pants calling women bitches and hoes and talking like they grew up in the hood.
• Agro brought the rude to kid's television
• Ah, shut up a ya face!
• Albie Mangals took his Australian documentaries to the cinema and people came in droves
• Alf Stewart, Ralf Prewit, or South Grewit?
• All-you-can-eat at Pizza Hut, had all-you-can-eat chicken, plus pumpkin and mashed potato. I can't imagine that making much of a profit.
• America's cup was won by australian defeating America for the first time in a thousand years
• The least drunk person would drive everyone home.
• Ansett was still in the Air, and Qantas was the safest airline in the air according to Rain Man.
• Are kangaroo's bipedal or tripedal?
• AS FAR AS PELICANS GO, MR PERCIBLE WÁS UP THERE!
• At school, we'd sing Advance Australia Fair at assembly
• Atari two six-hundreds were for kids who couldn't afford a Super Nintendo
• Aunty jack threatened to rip your bloody arms off
• Australia - A continent of Drunks and Gamblers
• Australia - A place where we glorify criminals and denonce saints
• Australian Women's Weekly Birthday Cookbook
• Bad boy bubby
• Baby John Burgess
• Back in the day when you could catch Bert Newton on the TV in the Morning and Kerry at Midday and TV felt like it had heart. It wasn't all gloss back then.
• Backwards caps meant you were cool. Some forty-year-olds are delusional enough to think the look still works for them.
• Baggy pants said you were down to clown
• Banana Clips!
• Ben Lexon created the winged keel and then invented a skateboard with wings.
• Ben Mendelson
• Beneta off playschool
• Bert Newton was at the top of the heap
• Big Kev was pretty iconic. I'm excited!
• Bleached hair was in
• BMX Bandits helped Nicole Kidman's career take off
• Board shorts became a staple as ruggers went out of favour. Football shorts were worn by people who watched and played football.
• Bonus steak knives!
• Bourke's Backyard was a staple and no one outside the industry knew old Don was a big ole perve.
• British television was a staple when I was a kid and there was more British tele than American tele.
• Bugger!
• Sarah marie's bum dance was a highlight of Big Brother, before it got lame. Just kidding, it was always lame.
• Cate Blanchett hit America
• Cathy Freeman made the 2000 Olympics
• CD's were for rich families
• Chain wallets were used if you were street wise
• Charlotte Hornets Starter jackets were on the back of every second young hoodlum.
• Cheese TV was a staple for teens
• Chicken salt was twenty cents as a standard. And the good stuff was fluorescent yellow.
• Chicko Rolls were more popular
• Chocito's were thrown in pools to freak people out
• Christopher Skase brought channel seven, then became a fugitive
• Claudia Karvan was loved in The Secret Life of Us
• Colin Freils was in the movie, Malcolm. Do you remember the car that split in half?
• Come Christmas there would be plenty of Rankin-Bass animation on the tele
• Crocodile Dundee went worldwide and defined how America saw us.
• Curving the brim of your cap was a must. None of this flat-brimmed shit later generations would embrace.
• Darryl Braithwaite sang other songs that weren't about horses.
• Did you know the harbour bridge is the longest bridge in the world. Not Really!
• Do kids still spend their recess playing handball?
• Doc Martins were cool for some
• Does Prime possum still send the kids to bed?
• Dunlop Volley Trainers were cool or uncool depending on the moment
• Eagle Boys delivered before dominos ate their lunch
• Elle MacPherson was on every boy's wall.
• Eric Bana as Chopper
• Ernie Dingo made us laugh
• Every kid had a Rubber Collections
• Everyone had a Tamagotchi unless you were poor, and your parents didn't love you!
• Evon Goolagong was an icon. Not sure if she was a swimmer or a tennis player.
• Fads were called Fags and had a red tip and kids would pretend to smoke them. Kids could also buy chocolate cigarettes in cigarette packets fof all the big tobacco brands.
• Fairy bread was a staple at kid's parties. Still is! But there was only one present in pass the parcel. Lucky's dads rules
• First it was street fighter, then mortal combat, then tekken.
• First, it was Brisvegas. Then it was Brisneyland. What's next, Bristanbul?
• Flannos were worn and not just by lumberjacks.
• Football socks on sports day. Why we had such big socks for playing sport I'll never know.
• Fozzey's made clothes for people who weren't too concerned about image.
• Fraggle Rock rocked our world
• Frank was the copper and Esmay was the local busybody. But I can't remember the names of the two guys who would always be up to something that led to hijinx. The little guy wore a fedora, and the other was a big man who had blonde hair and wore overalls.
• Franklins had No Frills
• Friendship bands were cool for those who had friends
• Geoff Fenech caught the attention of the nation
• Give me a home among the gum trees, with lots of gum trees, a gum or two, or gum on your shoe, gum gum gum gum gum trees with lots of gum trees.
• Grace Brothers employed women who had plums in their throats and who thought they were better than you.
• Graeme Base made many great kids books and Animalia topped them all.
• Graeme Kennedy was getting old but was still the king
• Grandma used to always have copies of 'The Post.' They don't make magazines like that anymore.
• Grant Kenny was the guy on Nutri-Grain boxes
• Greg Norman was rich people cool
• Guns were used by kids
• Harry Butler was a personal hero of mine
• Have you ever had a dream so real you turned it into a book and that book becomes a bestseller?  Then you realise your dream was based on a foreign film you saw on SBS as a kid that you stayed up to watch so you could see some boobs? Nah, me neither.
• Healthy Harrold had a video in his van about how funny it would be if people purchased water in bottles like they do fizzy drinks.
• Henderson kids was a must watch in my house
• before Ivan Milat, Hitchhiking was a thing people did
• How many Weet-Bix do you do?
• Humphrey B-Bear was still on tele
• Hundred-dollar bills didn't exist I don't think
• Hypercolour was a thing
• I can't get that Darryl Braithwaite song out of my head. I don't even like horses.
• I don't think we'd have those Tim Tam ads without the book 'The Magic Pudding'
• I knew a bloke who would walk barefoot on catheads. Not the type of guy you wanna fuck with. But that didn't stop Stephen, may he rest in peace.
• I miss Mercantile Mutual!
• I miss secret valley, it launched many careers
• I miss that sense of collectivity, knowing that half the country was watching the same thing you were at the same time.
• I miss the good old days when potatoes came in hessian bags.
• I never really liked watching cricket, but I loved listening to CDs of The Twelfth Man while my cousins came to visit.
• I once went to a big party as Henry the octopus. Apparently 'dress fancy' and 'fancy dress' are two different things. So here's everyone else in their gowns and tailored suits and here's me in an octopus costume. Anyway, we had the ceremony and I got married.
• I played video games when the only options were run shoot or jump
• I remember before ADHD was a thing. If you were hyperactive your treatment was punishment.
• I remember foraging through the rubbish at the tip to find something good that someone didn't appreciate. This was when tips were open to the public.
• I remember going into the petrol station with two bucks and coming out with a packet of chips, a bag of mixed lollies, a lollipop, a can of Coke, and a piece of bubblegum with a bonus temporary tattoo.
• I remember going to develop photos I took of myself and my friends having fun and the photo developer placed incorrect exposure stickers over the bong being smoked in some of the pictures.
• I remember listening to 'Run to paradise' on my cousin Pauly's boombox before it fell into the river.
• I remember playing Where in the world is carmen sandiego on an apple 2 E
• I remember riding my push bike around town looking for my gang. If I couldn't find them, I'd go looking down the river. I'd find them sooner or later.
• I remember skipping school with my mates to go buy a bottle of brown musket and go swimming in the river. Brown musket is awful shit, but it's potent and it only cost three dollars at the time.
• I remember waking up to the sound of fifteen different birds. Kookabura's, Magpies. The odd emu.
• I remember when air conditioning was a fan with a wet towel.
• I remember when community events were more than people trying to make a bob off their side hustle.
• I remember when life was lived outside with the heat and the bugs.
• I remember when oolaroo was called Ayers Rock before it was given back to its traditional owners
• I remember when the Queen came to Dubbo, but I didn't get to go see her with the rest of the class because I was a little shit.
• I remember when you had to buy an ad in the paper if you wanted to sell something.
• I remember when you'd get a pinch and a puncch at the start of every month.
• I remember when you'd go outside at night and there would be thousands of different bugs flying around the floodlight and the air was filled with the sounds of buzzing and croaking, and crickets chirping.
• I sometimes wonder what Koshie is up to these days. It's been a long time since I've watched free-to-air television.
• I thought my Pog collection would be worth more than it is.
• I wonder if school kids still get to play thumbs up, thumbs down
• I wonder what happened to dougie the Pizza Boy
• I'd base my anticipation to the day based on what Karen Morgold said about my star sign
• Ian Thorpe took home more gold than a pirate
• Ian Turpie hosted The Price is Right
• If someone had a mental health problem, people would gossip about how that person had gone crazy and tell others to keep away from them.
• If you leave the house these days to have some fun, you have to have money in your pocket. Now the only free events where you don't need some dosh are lame community services events.
• If you missed an episode of something, that was it! It was gone.
• If you stuck up for a gay person who was being low-key abused, that meant you were also gay.
• Impulse deodorant was big with the girls
• In nineteen ninety A A R net was established by C S I R O & Australian Vice-Chancellors' Committee (the first step to Internet in Australia)
• In the eighties Greg Norman was voted sports star of the decade
• Is Rolf Harris still allowed to use his wobbleboard
• Isn't Harry's Practice the one where Ted Bullpit would tell the Italian guy to leave the money on the fridge?
• It is a statistical fact that in nineteen eighty five twenty percent of Australians made up one-fifth of the Australian population.
• It used to be common for people to wear overalls to work, now it's just painters and bee keepers.
• It used to be we'd all sit around and tell jokes we'd heard going round. It's been eight years since I've heard someone tell a joke. I suppose it correlates with how long it's been since I've socialised.
• It's a Knockout was watched by millions. 'Go New South Wales!'
• Ita Buttrose and Maggie Tabberer were stuck up.
• jimmy barnes was and still is a legend
• John Howard made gun reform and sent us into an unnecessary war that went nowhere
• July nineteen nineteen ninety Kerry Packer buys back Channel 9 from Alan Bond
• Kath and kim went big
• Kids copped a flogging
• Kids used to buy computer magazines even if they couldn't afford a computer. Now kids have a computer in their pocket and have no need for magazines.
• Kids were called a Silly Duffer if they were acting like a silly duffer.
• Kylie Minogue went from Neighbours sweetheart to international popstar royalty.
• Lay-by was a big thing, especially around Xmas
• Legionnaire hats were a primary school staple
• Leyland Brothers showed us parts of Australia we wouldn't have seen otherwise
• Local shows were more a community thing than a bunch of carnies taking advantage of poor stupid people, OK, it was always that way
• Long hair meant you were into metal. A buzz cut was for those who listened to rap.
• Lots of young people were into Swatch watches. I had one that played music while the hands spun around in opposite directions.
• Mad Max was big here and in the States. The sequels did well too.
• May Gibbs not only did children's books but also defined an art style
• Meditation was considered eastern religious bullshit
• Mel Gibson was loved
• Metal heads wore shirts from the bands they listened to.
• Mobile phones were massive and had their own aerial.
• Mr Squiggle entertained the kids, and Blackboard was a grump
• My Pop never wore a belt. Back in his day, if you were a man of a certain size, you would wear suspenders.
• Netball skirts were the female version of footy shorts
• Noni Hazelhurst did playschool before taking on more serious roles
• Not happy Jan was something people started saying
• Oakleys were in vogue
• One shoulder tops were big with the girls
• Our VCR was a Rank Arena
• Paedophilia and rape were systematically covered up or ignored.
• Parting hair in the middle was far too common
• Pasta was exotic
• Pat Cash had the black and white checked bandana
• Paul Hogan was huge here and overseas
• Paul Mercurio in Strickly Ballroom
• People had to be at home if you wanted to talk to them on the phone.
• People really gave up on Australia's Funniest Home Video once people started posting them on mass on the internet.
• People used to go to Time Zone to play video games. The rich kids got good.
• People who had car phones were rich.
• Peter Garrett was known for the music he made with midnight oil and not as a Labor Party politician
• Picture and people magazine beside young males toilets was accepted, playboy was borderline, and hustler made you a perve.
• Pies were not gourmet
• Pigs in Blankets were a thing at parties.
• Pissing on a jelly fish works the same as putting salt on a slug.
• Playschool had bits just for the adults watching
• POP QUIZ: What are these big names famous for? Bruce McAvaney, Richie Benaud, and Ray Warren.
• Porn stars had big bushes.
• Priscilla, Queen of the Desert was big
• Psych, Not, Never, and Nare were some of the words young men would say after saying something stupid or embarrassing.
• Punky Brewster, Stawberry Shortcake, Rainbow Bright, and cabbage patch kids
• Quick poll - Which was better, The Late Show, Fast forward, The Comedy Company, or The Big Gig?
• Quick Quiz - Who is famous for saying, "Stone the crows!". Alf Stewart, Ralf Prewit , or South Grewit?
• Ray Bans were in
• Ready steady cook was big for those who didn't have a job
• Reebok Pumps meant you were serious at Basketball
• Remember when hey hey its saturday was the height of entertainment
• Remember when you could flog your kids to with an inch of their lives and it would be considered disipline
• Remember 'Henderson Kids 2'? The kids moved a town over, and then a lot of their friends ended up moving there too. That's what it was like for me when I left school and moved to Orange. Do you remember the theme song? You can listen to it on YouTube.
• Remember before we had mobile phones you'd need a different device for everything.
• Remember being hungover and watching the ABC show Recovery on a Saturday morning?
• Remember Benita off Playschool?
• Remember big hair and legwarmers?
• Remember how you could show how manly you were by pointing out good-looking women from your car, then wolf whistling at them or yelling out, "Do you want a lift?"
• Remember in the 80's when everyone was racist
• Remember sitting up to record your favourite song on the tape recorder you got for Christmas?
• Remember Sunny Boys? Where they'd have a bit that contained all the flavour and the rest was a block of ice.
• Remember that one kid who could smoke a push-bike through the bong he made in metalwork?
• Remember that one kid who shit themselves in class because the teacher refused to let them go to the toilet? And from that point on, they would forever be known as 'Smelly-anne'. And the rule was you weren't allowed to touch them.
• Remember that, not too long ago, if you lived in a country town and were gay, people felt they had the right to treat you like shit?
• Remember the sneaker brand British Knights?
• Remember when a fight at the pub would break out and the bouncers would tell everyone to stand back so the people having the fight could settle it man to man?
• Remember when Australia banned guns after that shooting? And there were no more mass shootings. While America racks up fifty or so school shootings a year.
• Remember when being a larrikin was seen as virtuous?
• Remember when burnouts were cool?
• Remember when driving a V8 would get you respect instead of derision?
• Remember when everyone was ignorant and low-key crazy but you wouldn't know because they couldn't post stupid shit on Facebook?
• Remember when everyone would stir up one of your mates while out camping until they snapped and pulled out a knife, and then you would all laugh at them for being too scared to use it?
• Remember when frogs still existed?
• remember when fuel was fifty cents a litre
• Remember when Happy Meals had toys that were actually good?
• Remember when it was a rite of passage to break your arm at the playground which was set up more like a special forces training ground?
• Remember when it was culturally appropriate to run down black people and tell racist jokes whenever a group of white people got together?
• Remember when it was normal that if you liked a girl, you'd pick on her? And if she complained, people would say that he was doing it because he had a crush on you.
• Remember when it was O K to call people retards and spastics?
• Remember when it was O K to pick on fat people and exclude them? Now we're all fat!
• Remember when it was OK to treat people terribly if they had a mental illness?
• Remember when people knew nothing? And if you wanted to find something out, you'd go to the library or consult your tarot.
• Remember when people used to ask what team you go for and if you said you don't watch sports they'd assume you were gay?
• Remember when people weren't divided by their beliefs because no one knew shit and it was just about what sounded more believable or what everybody else reckoned, or what the TV said was true?
• Remember when politicians got sacked for accepting the gift of an expensive bottle of champagne? Now, at least on the right, it's part and parcel of the whole operation and you don't get sacked for it, you get promoted.
• Remember when Poppy died on A Country Practice?
• Remember when Qantas was the spirit of Australia? And was considered one of the best and safest airlines in the world. How far we've fallen.
• Remember when smoking was cool and the doctor would light one up during your appointment?
• Remember when teenage women learned about the birds and the bees through Dolly Doctor?
• Remember when thanks to Anne Geddes all photographs of babies had to be in a pumpkin
• Remember when that weird kid at school said he had a girlfriend in Queensland?
• Remember when the CIA ousted Gough Whitlam?
• Remember when the coppers would turn a blind eye to the drunks coming back from the pub if they were regulars?
• Remember when the country would all be watching the same show on the telly at the same time?
• Remember when the footy show was about entertainment and less about football
• Remember when the Liberal Party, at least, had the appearance of doing good for the country and its citizens?
• Remember when the meatheads ruled the roost? Now they're on Facebook complaining about PC culture.
• Remember when there used to be insects everywhere?
• Remember when there were kids in the street, before the internet?
• Remember when there were only four channels and everyone watched the same thing?
• Remember when we had politicians like Keating & Hawke instead of bozo cronies like Barilaro and Morrison?
• Remember when we thought the TV represented who we are and not just themselves and their corporate advertisers?
• Remember when we used to think as kids that adults knew what they were talking about? Now we can just verify that they are full of shit with a quick Google search.
• Remember when you could drive around town with a group of friends on the back of your ute?
• Remember when you could get a pie and Coke for three dollars? And two dollars worth of chips would feed a family of five?
• Remember when you could sit outside the bottle-o and ask someone to buy you a packet of Winnie Blues and a bottle of Jim Beam and 1 in 3 people would go for it? But then you'd have to give them a couple of your ciggies.
• Remember when you couldn't use playgrounds in Summer because they were made of metal and they get so hot they'd melt your skin?
• Remember when you either drove a Ford or a Holden?
• Remember when you'd look out your window at night and there would be four frogs, six geckos, fifteen types of moth and twelve types of insect on the glass?
• Remember when your dad would explain something and you assumed he knew what he was talking about? But now we have Google and dads can't make shit up anymore.
• Remember when your value depended on how big your muscles were?
• Remember your mum telling you how she had to walk fifteen kilometres to school in bare feet through cat heads and snow? And she also had to climb six barbed wire fences on the way there without tearing her school uniform or her dad would make her crank the electricity handle all night.
• Remember yoyos, hula hoops, and sucking on nitrous oxide behind the bike shed?
• Remember, before we had mobile phones, you'd need a different device for everything.
• Ren & Stimpy was on kids TV and twisted the minds of most of Xennials.
• Rock eisteddfods were big back in the nineties
• Roller blades were used by those with balance
• Rotary phones were still used by many
• Round John Lennon glasses were big with the dorks
• Round the twist still stands up as the peak of Australian childrens television
• Rove Live was a fun show a lot of people watched.
• Ruffle's chips came and went.
• Russell Coight gave us Outback Adventures
• Russell Crowe went large in Hollywood.
• Sale of the Century was a must watch
• Samboys were big
• SBS was only watched late at night to see boobs
• Scratch and Sniff Stickers
• Scrunchies and butterfly clips
• Shane Warne became an icon
• Shannon Noll coming second in Australian Idol was a slight to many country Australians. Not me, SUCK IT SHANNON!
• Shoulder pads made you look successful.
• Sigrid Thornton
• Silverchair was my first concert. They were huge.
• Slug guns were used to shoot your friends
• Smoking and drinking ads were all over sport, now it's gambling and drinking
• Spiked hair was cool
• Spokey Dokeys were on every wheel
• Steve Irwin is like a father to me. He gave me the courage to wrestle crocodiles. That's how I lost the arm.
• Steven Bradbury won despite all odds
• Telstra was Telecom and owned by us
• The 'Life. Be in it' campaign.with Norm
• The AFL was the VFL
• The Bicentennial was a big deal back in the day. We had a shared sense of a united country.
• The Big Toff was my ice block of choice.
• The bush is a harsh place. There's no rooves, or taps, or fridges. As a bushman myself I'd say the bush is not only very dangerous but quite boring. And the food is awful. Have you ever eaten a bush fig? It's all skin and seeds. When I go on a trek into the bush I can't wait to get back to town. You know, sit underneath the aircon and eat a hot pie. That's living. I'm thinking of getting a job at Woolies. Fuck the bush!
• The height of Australian television was when Piffy the bell ringer performed on the late show
• The internet was only in libraries.
• The last time a played touch footy I broke three ribs. Touch, my arse.
• The Man from snowy river became a national icon
• The movie 'The Castle' was huge. Done by Working Dog, the guys from 'The Late Show'
• The Movie Show featuring film critics Margaret Pomeranz and David Stratton
• The one or two gay kids in your group would always act tough to hide their gayness and tell everyone that the kid who didn't care about being manly was a fag to distract from their gayness. Or told everyone that the person who knew they were gay was in fact the gay one. It was tricky politics.
• The peak of australian music was the eighties. What happened.
• The peak of australian shopping was back when copperart was at it's peak, there is just not enough stuff made from copper these days
• The simpsons were big unless your parents were Christians. Then you'd have to watch it at a friends house.
• The truth is I've got bogan blood running through my veins. I'm a carrier. My sister and two of her kids were hit particularly hard, as their bogan genes were dominant. There's really not much we can do for them. Besides buying them some devon every now and again.
• The TV was called 'The Tele', 'The Box' or 'The Idiot Box'
• The unofficial Aussie anthem was by Men at Work: Down Under
• They still had one, and two-cent pieces and a dollar was a note.
• Things just haven't been the same here in Australia since Rex Hunt got bitten by that stingray.
• Things started going downhill when they banned cracker night
• This whole Australian of the year thing stinks of a cover-up, what's really going on?
• Toni Collett was hilarious in Muriel's Wedding
• Tony Barber & Adrianna Exanades
• Toohey's New and Victoria Bitter would have been the most popular beer on the market. But for a while there, the cool kids were drinking Hahn Ice or Carlton Cold.
• you can't get the butcher back
• Ugg boots were an Australian thing, and then America trademarked the term and made it their own.
• Unlike Slim Dusty, I think a pub with no beer is a great idea!
• Vegemite has been a staple in Australian homes since nineteen twenty two, but did you know up until recently Vegemite was owned by food giant Kraft Foods Inc? In January two-thousand and seventeen, Vegemite was purchased by Bega, the guys that make cheese. They paid four hundred and sixty million for it. Another interesting fact is that Vegemite is made from leftover brewers' yeast extract with various vegetable and spice additives. It's also vegan, kosher, and halal. Much to the dismay of your average boofhead.
• Video Ezy was the go-to place for entertainment on a Friday night.
• Walkmans were popular
• Was Ian 'Hewy' Hewidson on 'Healthy and Wealthy and Wise' before he got his own cooking show?
• Was John Farnham and Whispering Jack the same person?
• Was their always this many Daddos
• Watching British children's television shows in the afternoon
• We had fizzy drink cans you had to push your thumb down on to open, making them child proof.
• We really dout did ourselves with the Sydney Olympics. Not a bad word was said.
• We used to have politicians like former Prime Minister Bob Hawke who could have a beer and spin a yarn, all while getting the job done. Now we have pretenders like our previous Prime Minister and marketing guru, Scott Morrison. Someone who had no interest in governing for the people or doing what was best for the country.
• You'd pay five thousand for a computer with a pentium processor which had less processing power than the latest watches.
• Wearing a Rosebank Stackhat made you feel like a dork.
• What can I get for ten cents
• What were Rafferties rules
• When basketball got popular for a time.
• When I played handheld games, there were no cartridges. You'd just play the one game. And if you wanted a different game, you'd have to buy another device.
• When I think Aussie men I think Brock, Farnham, Vaughton, Newton
• Where's the cheese? Peter, G'day, Russell, G'day, Clark, G'day!
• Women were second class citizens
• World expo eighty eight
• Y 2 K was to be the end of civilisation. I remember having a mild panick attack during the countdown to the new year.
• Yahoo Serious gave us Young Einstein
• Yoram Gross, the Australian animation studio was still around. They brought us shows like Blinky Bill. I loved their movie The Little Camel Boy I had on VHS.
• Yothu Yindi represented
• You could just rock up at people's houses with no prior warning and they'd welcome it as a pleasant surprise.
• You either watched Neighbours or Home and Away or both
• You were defined by whether you drink Milo, Acta-Vite, or Ovaltine. Not really.
• You would pack a lunch for the family if you were travelling. Now people just use drive thru.
• You'd have to go to the R S L or the Bowlo to play the pokies