Guided Pure Power Elite Meditation

Progressive relaxation exercise
- Welcome, I'm Ricky, and this is Guided Pure Power Elite Meditation.
- today we are going to be going through some progressive relaxation exercises, please be comfortable with the terrifying thought of death and we will get started
- starting at our tootsies feel each individual toe, it has its own life and own thoughts, but they are all stuck together in two competing that have to work together for you to be able to walk
- now lets move up to your ankles and feet and notice any rexsentment in them, and just let go oif all resentm,ent in you feet and ankle.
- moving up to yopur calf muscles and just let them know you care as long as they still work, if your a paraplegic, just ignore them like they're ignoring you
- and we move up to the knees, the bees knees, the best knees in town, look at your sexy knees, who doesn't like a knee, sociopaths thats who.
- And lets feel now the pressence of you upper leggies, feel the strength and magisty, like a well hung black stallion, lets not indulge to much by moving to our butcheeks and arsehole, and just let out a little wind, if nothing is being expelled, just sqeeze a little harder, not swo much that you end up browning yourself, but if there is an accident, just forgive yourself for past mistakes.
- we will leave it there for now and tomorrow we'll move onto the upper body. namaste.
Envisioning a powerful future
- Envisioning a powerful future
- Welcome, I'm Ricky, and this is Guided Pure Power Elite Meditation.
- today we are going to be going through Envisioning a powerful future
- lets begin
- be a peace with your ahame
- today we are going to meditate on your powerful future
- more powerfuller than you can ever imagine
- relax your shoulders and take a deep powerful all knowing breath
- hold it, hold it, hold, and breathe out knowing you are the chosen
- I magine yuou are sorrounded by flames that you can control
- and no bully is ever going to mess with you again
- because you have t5he power to burn them to a crisp
- and breathe in, hold, hold it, you are the one
- you have all the power
- you have five aces, and everyones like, what, that's not even possible, but you know your strength
- and no bad guy, not even mum and dad can take it away
- brether in, hoold, hold, hold, and release
- feel your power and go in peace, nameste
cleansing your body of toxins
- hello and nameste
- Welcome, I'm Ricky, and this is Guided Pure Power Elite Meditation.
- today we will be releasing metaphysical toxins out of our body
- and i'm not talking about stinky farts andrew
- sit in a comfortabler position with you body upright and we will begin
- no imagine drilling a hole in the top of your head
- kind of like a blow hole for all those metaphysical toxins
- lets start by thinking about all the awful shit youve done when nobodies looking
- now take all that toxic shame and blow it out you hole
- now tyhink about all the evil thoughts you've had lately and just blow it out your hole
- imagine, a heap of toxic bblack smoke belowing out your blow hole, allowing for clean energy to flow between all your bits.
- I'm going to leave now, i have a reiki appointment, but do that five or six more times and you should be good for a week or so
- NAMESTE
Forgiveness meditation
- Welcome everybody, what a wonderful day it is for me, I'm Ricky, and this is Guided Pure Power Elite Meditation.
- how about you, got any fears or worries, is the darkness creeping in?
- Let us practice some forgiveness meditation
- Sit up straight and relax your body
- Lets begin
- Feel forgiveness eminate from your soul
- let go of all the hurt and what mum did
- Be at peace and forgive her
- even though what she did was unforgivable
- do it for yourself, not that bitch
- feel your body radiate with happiness, show that bitch she can't hurt you any more
- forgive lifes hurts and feel at peace
- peace, peace, peace
- show no weakness
- you are unstobable
- you are the best
- and she can't ruffle your feathers
- because you are love, and strength, and power
- you could crush her with your powerful mind
- but you choose love
- thats plenty for today guys
- go in peace and love, bury your anger
- nameste
Breathing exercises
- Breathing Exersices
- Welcome, I'm Ricky, and this is Guided Pure Power Elite Meditation.
- today's focus is on the breath
- the breathe centers us and allows us to be all powerful
- let's start by finding a relaxed position
- and breathe in 1 misipiopi 2 misipi 3 misasipi 4 misispi, 5 missipi, six missipi, seven missipi, and breathe out
- prrfft excuseemwah
- and breathe in, can you smell it, i can, a tinge of bi-carb
- and breathe out keep breathing out and expell all that stinky air, and brush that air away fr4omn you with your aRMS LIKE YOU ARE ROWING A BOAT
- now we are going to try and get ourselves to hyperventalate
- just for shits and giggles
- this is how i got high while i was in rehab and off the drugs
- breathe in and out really fast, keep going, don't stop until you feel as though you are going to pass out.
- wow, isn't that trippy
- can anyone see the way they end up dying
- sometimes i can
- thats why i avoid
- audis when going for walks
- anyway
- that'l do it
- nameste
Dealing with toxic people meditation
- Welcome, I'm Ricky, and this is Guided Pure Power Elite Meditation.
- hi everyone, you know the drill
- lets begin by bringing our attention to the breath
- remember at school when those girls were mean to you
- well they are fat now, and their husbands are alcoholic
- and breathe
- do you have a cunty partner or cunty partner in the past
- imagine gaslighting them until they are a fraction of the person they used to be, full of self-doubt
- remember you are powerful even if your muscles are weak
- let go of the nasty things people say about you by imagining they are about to die, and you are visiting them one last time
- what do you whisper in their ear
- something like: I know what you did and I'm going to tell evferybody you freak.
- That would really set them off
- and breathe in good energy and breathe out bad toxic energy
- and be at peace with your haters, knowing you can crush them
- fuck around and find out
- and breathe and we'll leave it at that
- knowing all is well in our hearts
- nameste
Laughing meditation
- Laughing Meditation
- Welcome, I'm Ricky, and this is Guided Pure Power Elite Meditation.
- welcome all, today we are focussed on laughing meditation
- get in position and we'll get straight into it
- imagine your partner falls and land in dog shit
- hahahaha laugyh with me
- imagine someone with no arse in tight jeans and you and your friends are gaslighting them about how nice their arse is, tyhats funny, and laugh, hahahahaha, and keep laughing at the guy in the fedora
- hahaha, you mother in law is a cunt hahahahahah
- laugh at something you say to your boss
- hahahahaha
- laugh at a child as you offer them icecream, then imagine saying none for you, too bad so sad hahahahah
- and laugh at the world as it6 burns, you are right, and you desrved better , hahahahahahah
- and breathe
- see you all next time, namaste
Longer legs meditation
- Nameste and welcome
- This meditation is for short people but if you are tall and want to be even taller, this is a good practice for you as well
- Longer legs can be achieved through meditation with the help of an expert facilitator like myself
- sitting upright, not stiff, but not slouching
- brethe in and feel the breath passing through your larrinx
- you have the power to grow longer legs
- say it
- I have the power to grow longer legs
- now push
- push
- hrrrrrhh
- push
- and breathe
- feel the breathe entering your sinus cavity
- and push
- push
- hrrrhe hrrrh
- push god dam it
- beyron the powerful
- grant us longer legs if we are worth to suckle on your teat
- beyron hear me
- and breathe
- give 24 to 48 hours guys
- nameste
- oh and repeat this meditation for even longer legs
Higher awareness meditation
- welcome and nameste
- you are chosen
- be with me now as we become all knowing and all powerful
- let us begin by sitting upright
- and bring your focus gently to you breathe feel you lungs filling and emptying like hot water bottles
- beyron the all powerful
- we beseach you
- come onto us and grant us eternal power
- give us the knowledge of the pear tree so we can know all things
- beyron we serve you as our master
- give us the power
- and breathe
- feel the air passing through your nose
- times up and i need a shit
- see you next time
- nameste
Trans and dental meditation
- today we will be starting with the teeth
- with your back upright but not stiff or riggid
- feel your teeth with your tognue, are they furry and gritty
- or are they shiny and gclean
- lean into that feeling of grubbyness if you haven't brushed them, and if you have feel the purity of your soul eminating out into the atmosphere, encompassing the globe, you are one with all things, you are strong like an eargle, or grubby like a grub. Now lets more onto the trans aspect of this meditation, if you have a vagina, imagine in it's place a throbbing, hot penis, like a tree truck with veins protruding, how does that feel. If you have a penis, imagine slicing it off with a bowie knife and you are left with a slippery wet hot mess that is your mess and you have titties, We'll leave it there today guys I have to go take a shit. Nameste
Mindful Wanking
- OK lets begin by gently removing any impediments to the genatal region
- If you're a girl you might want to have your titties out too.
- Now put your clothes back on and get out of here you perverted monkey, and let this be a reminder to keep your hands off your junk while meditating
- see you next time, namaste and go in peace
Simple guided meditation
- Welcome to Guided Pure Power Elite Meditation w/ Ricky
- Today is a really simple guided meditation which should help you maximse your power
- Now just a gentle reminder that this particular meditation does not include touching of your own private parts
- its just a gentle meditation to help you forget the shit show that is your life and help you to forget about the things you did as a teenager
- now gently close your eyes tigtly and stare into the darkness of your soul, knowing that death could come at any minute
- and with death comes judgement
- and a gentle reminder not to judge ourselves, leave all judgement at the door, this is gods job to judge our lives and see through the lies we tell ourselves so we can sleep at night
- Now breathe in and hold that breathe like your under water, where if you'd try to breathe, your lungs would fill with liquid
- keep holding until you're on the verge of passing out, then breathe out while apologising for your existence
- knowing that God's wrath is just and true
- Do that seven times, then go grab a drink, you'll probably need it, see you in the next session, peace be with you.