Short Films

• Tropes - Short
  • tropes the short - alrm goes off guy checks his watch, goes to kitchen chicks clock, chews on medi, has glass of water with egg, gaggs, looks in fridge, drink off milk, does a long fart, brushes teeth badly, meessy, wearing pjs and slippers, puts jacket on, grabs breaf case, goes to office desk , sits down, opens breif case, puuls out flowers, put them in vase, looks at clock. opens up laptop, blinking cursor. Game of Thones and the secret of Dothraki special powers. Lardic was a seven foot dothraci fighter with huge sword.
• Lost in the Bush - Short
  • use ukeleyly and stick for sound effects
  • Need
    • Hand held with arm (phone or camera)
  • Remember
    • Film from both sides of the car
    • pull up on dirt track out past waynes
  • Script
    • Here I am at Beni forrest for my new thing bush walking
    • colesteroll is through the roof and my blood pressure is sky high
    • so the doc said get some exercise fatty, so I did. He didn't actually call me fatty, but it was implied
    • Here we go, walk for a while
    • should of brought some water with me
    • I've been walking for a good 10 minutes, I'm pretty puffed and actually have no idea where i am
    • so i'm going to go back to the car before i get lost
    • still no sign of the vehicle, but i'm sure im close
    • twenty five minutes in, i'm a bit nervous, no sign of the car, and i'm getting thirsty
    • its been about forty minutes, im exausted and i can't find my fucking car, i'll give it another five, keep looking and if I can't find it i'll call emergency services
    • alright i'm starting to get scared, so i'm going to make the call to police fire ambullance, tripple zero
    • fuck no signal, where the fuck am i "help help"
    • i'm gonna die out here
    • ok i'm remaining positive, staying cool, i'm exausted, it's been three hours, there no signal, so i'll keep walking for another ten minutes, if i can't find my car, i'll find a ditch and hunker down for the night, and try again in the morning
    • walk into the car- at this point i'm just looking for a nice ditch to sleep in, Bump into car
    • I need to buy a fucking exercise bike
• Dirt
  • ANSMA V2/V3
  • Best stick/rock video
• Mall
  • Ford Clitorus, Toyota G-Spot
• Man can't - Loungeroom/Tripod
  • man can't put on his shoes
  • man can't cut his toes
  • man can't pick up a towel
• Talk on phone in car - Use Two Phones & Plug
  • Man Child
    • dude gets looks after by his wife in morning, act like a useless baby - gets in the car and starts acting like a ceo
  • GOT
    • guyin his car making up game of thrones character names, says targarian swamp monkey, wolfman stark from the deep dark woods of winterfell, takes call, oh hi, not much just sitting in the car thinking about my game of thrones fan fic. No I didn't take your lighter, checks pocket, an i haven't got your fucking lighter ok, ask Rick, I bet he has it, he stole my lakers shorts. buuuy. The three ghosts of haren hall, harry potter and sword of berkenstock
  • talking to karen on phone
  • how can we make the world a better place
  • police- iwasathome that night, I know nothing about father cradules chickens
  • wheres my dog
  • don't open the freezer
  • mum ive got a call on the other line
  • setup car
  • won a competition to have lunch with eddie macquire
  • would you like to be on my podcast
  • Got a new book
  • Shoot to ten, edit to one or two"
  • this lady called me fat
  • who's dirk navitsky
  • feed the cat
  • itchy ballsacks
    • itchy scrote
  • you get to god through jesus, i can't explain it but thats how it works, that's called simony and that doesn't work.
  • No I think good deeds are out, but i'd probs do them anyway it couldn't hurt"