Log--9857-19/08/2026-Ricky-Browne
Trying to Find the Right Track
19 August 2026
I texted my father-in-law around three yesterday to let him know that I had discussed with Liz that she should get a job at the moment and stay home and focus on family. I wrote that because Liz feels a lot of outside pressure to conform to societal standards, biblical standards, and her dad's standards. Being Presbyterian, he loves his work and doesn't appreciate anyone not working and bringing in income.
I suggested to Liz, given that she's so stressed and anxious, that she spend at least six months at home, where she can focus on our daughter and not be in fight-or-flight or worry mode constantly. I said I will do more to find clients, as I've been doing a bit of IT/web work for a few of my ten clients lately—more than usual.
I've avoided taking on new clients because it's so stressful, but now I have AI, I feel I can do most things in a timely manner, so I don't feel like I'm either ripping myself off or the client off. It's a big shift. I also feel that even though I have a lot of personal moonshots going on, I can still do any work that comes in, whereas before it felt like one or the other. I'm still a little apprehensive about how much new work I can actually bring in, but I'm hoping I'll give it a red-hot go.
We have some money in reserve, so we won't need to borrow to get by, but it would be good if we don't start going backwards, because that will put pressure on Liz to work. We both have mental illnesses, so for me it's not as clear as “suck it up and work and just be miserable and sick, then die early,” like you should.
Grace and I go a lot better with Liz at home, and we own our house, so we don't have rent eating away at our savings. We both eat healthier when we have the time to.
Owen hasn't responded to my text, so I woke up at about quarter to one worrying I'm not on the right track and leading Liz astray, and worrying that I spend too much time on my own nonsense instead of focusing on clear ways to earn money to survive and thrive, like a job.
I'm a progressive and only conservative on some issues relating to family, etc. But I would like to know where I stand biblically. My progressive mind and what I know about how the economy works make me think it's okay that we aren't slaves to a wage. But I want to be right with God. I don't care about pressure from other Christians if what I do is right with God. At 1 a.m. in the morning, I'm just not sure.
I do a lot of work. I'm not lazy. Most of my work is mind work, mind you. It's just, does that count if it doesn't contribute to supporting family? I definitely try to support others with my work. Through my videos and writing, does that count? Or is a good Christian one who gives up on art and focuses on a living wage?
I'd love to support my family through my endeavours, but I'm not sure I ever will. I'm trying to make that happen. I'm waiting for a windfall. Am I right to put Liz's health and family over monetary security, or am I just adding another layer of wrong and selfishness?
At the end of the day, it's up to Liz, but there is what she wants and what she feels pressure to do. It's a hard one.
I pray that one day I can say I make money with my craft, but at the moment I'm miles from that ever happening.
So I want to make web design be the gap. It won't be as good as Liz working, but at least for now it would be great if I could have her at home with me, without the pressure to provide because I can't or won't.
19 August 2026
I texted my father-in-law around three yesterday to let him know that I had discussed with Liz that she should get a job at the moment and stay home and focus on family. I wrote that because Liz feels a lot of outside pressure to conform to societal standards, biblical standards, and her dad's standards. Being Presbyterian, he loves his work and doesn't appreciate anyone not working and bringing in income.
I suggested to Liz, given that she's so stressed and anxious, that she spend at least six months at home, where she can focus on our daughter and not be in fight-or-flight or worry mode constantly. I said I will do more to find clients, as I've been doing a bit of IT/web work for a few of my ten clients lately—more than usual.
I've avoided taking on new clients because it's so stressful, but now I have AI, I feel I can do most things in a timely manner, so I don't feel like I'm either ripping myself off or the client off. It's a big shift. I also feel that even though I have a lot of personal moonshots going on, I can still do any work that comes in, whereas before it felt like one or the other. I'm still a little apprehensive about how much new work I can actually bring in, but I'm hoping I'll give it a red-hot go.
We have some money in reserve, so we won't need to borrow to get by, but it would be good if we don't start going backwards, because that will put pressure on Liz to work. We both have mental illnesses, so for me it's not as clear as “suck it up and work and just be miserable and sick, then die early,” like you should.
Grace and I go a lot better with Liz at home, and we own our house, so we don't have rent eating away at our savings. We both eat healthier when we have the time to.
Owen hasn't responded to my text, so I woke up at about quarter to one worrying I'm not on the right track and leading Liz astray, and worrying that I spend too much time on my own nonsense instead of focusing on clear ways to earn money to survive and thrive, like a job.
I'm a progressive and only conservative on some issues relating to family, etc. But I would like to know where I stand biblically. My progressive mind and what I know about how the economy works make me think it's okay that we aren't slaves to a wage. But I want to be right with God. I don't care about pressure from other Christians if what I do is right with God. At 1 a.m. in the morning, I'm just not sure.
I do a lot of work. I'm not lazy. Most of my work is mind work, mind you. It's just, does that count if it doesn't contribute to supporting family? I definitely try to support others with my work. Through my videos and writing, does that count? Or is a good Christian one who gives up on art and focuses on a living wage?
I'd love to support my family through my endeavours, but I'm not sure I ever will. I'm trying to make that happen. I'm waiting for a windfall. Am I right to put Liz's health and family over monetary security, or am I just adding another layer of wrong and selfishness?
At the end of the day, it's up to Liz, but there is what she wants and what she feels pressure to do. It's a hard one.
I pray that one day I can say I make money with my craft, but at the moment I'm miles from that ever happening.
So I want to make web design be the gap. It won't be as good as Liz working, but at least for now it would be great if I could have her at home with me, without the pressure to provide because I can't or won't.