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My wife accused me of watching SBS for the titties. Who’s watching SBS for the titties? We have broadband.

My ‘Fart in a box’ product would have sold more units if I marketed it to kids.

Get back to the person you were before you shit yourself at the supermarket.
Just let it go...

Classified Ads:

Looking for a person who speaks parseltongue to remove snake from the old barn on Winthrop Crescent. Name your price.
Ph: 0268871342

Investors wanted for my new hula-hoop and slide-whistle venture.
Ph: 0268771176

Fun fact: Norm from Life Be in It actually got Healthy Harold the job.

People grow in different areas, and those who see a lot of growth in some areas are really stunted in others, where you’ll have very successful people with low emotional intelligence, or people who are good at football who refuse to use the dishwasher.

My word of the year: Audacity. Coined by Obama before he was president, the word audacity means to be audacious.

I have to let you know, the truth is, I know nothing about your missing koi fish, and if I did, I certainly wouldn’t be telling you about it.

You ever down the street and suddenly need to shit, and think, just do it, why not, you deserve it!

My wife once told me a joke so funny I shit myself. We have rules around humour in the house these days.