Not so every day conversations

R: Remember Phil? 

L: Phil who?

R: Phil, my water bottle -- I'm PAAAARRCHEDD!!!!!!!!

Rick: I've offended my audience.

Liz: You have an audience?

M: Jackie's a racist!

G: How do you know?

M: She's white, and she braids her hair.

G: That's not appropriation.

M: I know, right? Very inappropriate.

Ned: Doc, I've got real bad pain in my back.

Dr: Need a bit of Oxy just to take the edge off, hey mate?

Ned: Well, I'm looking for you guys to fix my back, but something to give me a bit of relief.

Dr: Yeah, Neurofin won't send you to your better place, hey, got to scratch that itch.

Ned: Neurofin and Panadol only do so much; I want to see if you can actually fix the problem.

Dr: Well, a bit of G-Whiz is not a permanent solution, buddy, and I'm not your dealer.

Ned: Look, I don't appreciate the way you're treating me; this is a serious issue.

Dr: We don't facilitate junkies around here, fella; you're gonna have to get your fix somewhere else.

Ned: Is surgery an option?

Dr: Not for junkies like you; you'll have to settle for Meth or something you can get on the streets.

Ned: Well, can you at least X-ray my back and see what the problem is?

Dr: You junkies are all the same. What have you got in your pockets? You didn't steal one of our pens, did you, vermin like you need locking up!

Ned: I'm in pain, help me!

Dr: Listen, mate, if you meet me round the back in fifteen minutes, we might be able to help each other, but you'll have to get on your knees, if you know what I mean.

Ned: Doc, I have a wife and go to church. I don't know who you think I am, but I just want help.

Dr: You scratch my itch, and I'll scratch yours.

Ned: Can I talk to your supervisor?

Dr: Just kidding, pal. I'll write you a script for something that will ease the pain, and we'll pop you in to get an X-ray and see what the problem is.

Ned: Thank you.

N: I'm setting up a Swiss bank account so I can buy more of that cheese.

B: You should get a watch too.

N: What, and a pocket knife!

S: Ooh! Good kiss; I'm buzzing.

W: There are three more in the fridge.

S: No, I mean the kiss we had.

W: Oh, I thought you were talking about the beer...

M: I'm not going to put up with another second of this bullshit!

A: I know you are, but what am I? I know you are, but what am I?

A: We can have sex, but you'll have to be on top

W: Why?

A: I'm in a wheelchair!

W: Ah! Yeah right!

L: What do you want from me, Harry?

H: Love, my dear, just love.

L: Ask your whore!

K: It starts with a single sentence.

N: Well, go on then!

K: I thought you could do the writing, and I'd be the frontman...