It was the first Saturday in September which meant it was time to walk the dog, it was a tradition for me and red that one day a year he was allowed to leave the back yard and hang out at the park with the other mutts, I never look forward to this day because I always end up with dog shit on my Nike Air Jordans (My favourite shoes. I've been wearing them since I was 15. Not the same pair of course.) I was adamant that this year I would not get my shoes covered in dog shit, which I was allergic to by the way. I'd go into anaphylactic shock, even if I got the tiniest bit of dog feces on my tongue, and I'd have to stick myself with an epi-pen to save my life. The walk was going well and we were a block from the park and red was excited. Then I looked down, I couldn't believe it had happened again! I'd stepped in dog shit. I went into a panic mode and fell onto the ground and my face landed right in dog shit. I opened my mouth to call for help and a chunk of dog shit fell in my mouth and landed on my tongue. I immediately started convulsing! Luckily this beautiful smart intelligent woman showed up and knew exactly what to do. She reached into my pocket and pulled out the epi-pen and stabbed it into my heart, then she picked the dog poo out of my mouth. Then she wiped me down with her sports towel, and she got my shoes dry cleaned free of charge. It's been one year now and we are happily married. It's time to take red for another walk, but I'm not so nervous this time because my beautiful smart intelligent wife is coming too. #funny #works Published 11-2-2026 Written on https://freewriter.app