Garry: I don’t care too much for all this Melbourne Cup hoopla. Garry: The whole thing is a loss of productivity. All my work colleagues are in front of the box watching this so-called race that stops a nation. Garry: Sure, it’s a well-needed distraction from the everyday toils of the Australian workplace, and I suppose it’s a good chance for the workers to bond, but at what cost I ask you, at what cost? Garry: We’ve got work to do. There is paper to be sorted, and who’s going to refill my photocopier? It’s bad economics, I say. I suppose it does inject millions into the economy and helps to put Melbourne on the world map, with all the national and international publicity it gets. But personally, I don’t go much on the sport of kings, think of the poor horses, especially that poor horse Silver Sunshine in the third, the poor bastard pulled up lame, it won its last 3 races, I’m sure its future is null and void. Garry: There’s some bloke out there that’s going to hand his house over to the bank because of that nag. Garry: Gambling hey, it’s an insidious disease like alcoholism or golf. Do you realize the costs of gambling on the wider community? I’m talking billions, let alone the individuals and families that are affected. Garry: I’m talking Divorce, Depression, Drugs, Domestic Violence, Theft, Bankruptcy, Fast Cars, and Holidays in the Caribbean. Garry: Bankruptcy, divorce, jail time. Garry: But I suppose I can’t blame all that on one race, especially when it brings a nation together and gives it a sense of identity. Garry: Besides gambling transcends the horses, take the pokies, instant gratification, if you’re lucky, not like some bloody race you have to wait around for to see if you’ve blown all your doe, or someone else’s for that matter. Garry: It’s just one race, one make-or-break bloody race, I suppose it’s a good chance for those who usually steer clear to take a punt or go in a sweep, It’s those with the bug you have to worry about. Garry: What's that Bazza, number four 'Deleariadd Boy', are you sure? Garry: WOOOHOOOOO! Garry: What’s that Baz? There’s 5 grand missing from the safe, no I know nothing about that. I wouldn’t worry though, I’m sure it will be back in there by tomorrow. #monologue #funny #works Published 11-2-2026 Written on https://freewriter.app