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Deep down, I feel that my magical powers are failing, but that's between you and me.

Conspirituality is a term used to define people who are both spiritual and believe the world is run by lizard people.

A quintillion dollars is a lot of money, that's a one with quonteen zeros.

You've heard of chicken fried steak? I want to open a restaurant that sells chicken fried chicken.  Think I'm on to something big.

Snakes aren't really that scary considering they're just a head with a long neck.

Maybe quarter-pounders are the answer. No, Ricky, you're better than this.

I used to be okay at math, but I haven't used math in years; you lose it if you don't use it. I'm a words man these days; Flurgen, Specetty, Gloice, Nozzle, Fire Hydrant.

I can count on one hand the times I've been in a plane, but I have to use some fingers twice.

My dad's name is Charlie Browne; one of my mates back in school thought that was hilarious. I still don't get the joke.

Listen to that small, quiet voice inside your head, saying, one more slice won't hurt.