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I used to be okay at math, but I haven't used math in years; you lose it if you don't use it. I'm a words man these days; Flurgen, Specetty, Gloice, Nozzle, Fire Hydrant.

Conspirituality is a term used to define people who are both spiritual and believe the world is run by lizard people.

A quintillion dollars is a lot of money, that's a one with quonteen zeros.

You've heard of chicken fried steak? I want to open a restaurant that sells chicken fried chicken.  Think I'm on to something big.

Snakes aren't really that scary considering they're just a head with a long neck.

Maybe quarter-pounders are the answer. No, Ricky, you're better than this.

I can count on one hand the times I've been in a plane, but I have to use some fingers twice.

My dad's name is Charlie Browne; one of my mates back in school thought that was hilarious. I still don't get the joke.

Listen to that small, quiet voice inside your head, saying, one more slice won't hurt.

Would you like two scoops of Milo or fifteen? Make it a round twenty, thanks. They should make a Milo product called Milo concentrate, where you don't have to pour in half a ton for full flavour.