Knock, knock jokes
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Chicken.
Chicken who?
Would you prefer the pork?
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Fartarse.
Fartarse who?
You know your old mate Fartarse from Fartarse and Luke’s Vegetables and Tinned Meats.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Jack.
Jack who?
Jack me off behind the bushes.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Crusty the Clown who?
Hey, hey, hey, hey, I’m Crusty the Clown.
Eat my shorts, aka Prime Bart. Doh!
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Chicken.
Chicken who?
Buggurk.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Moo.
Moo who?
Hh, I’m actually a cow.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Shit my pants.
Shit my pants who?
I shit my pants. Can I put my undies in your bin?
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Brains.
Brains who?
Oh, none here. No worries.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Show me.
Show me who?
Show me your tits.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Mullemburg.
Mullemburg who?
Mahoni, I’d like to speak to you about car insurance and how much you can save with Youi.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Humpty.
Humpty who?
Can you get me down from here?
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Me.
Me who?
You know who. Please open the door, Jenny. I’m a changed man.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Garry, your neighbour.
Garry who?
Can I use your bin?
10 Ways to be more loving
1. Drop a cool beat at the shopping centre.
2. Find specials at the shops.
3. Get a haircut that makes me look tough.
4. Find money in the lounge and under the seats of our car.
5. Be really cool around her friends, and be really cool by telling them about my friend's speedboat.
6. Learn about World War II, then constantly talk about World War II.
7. Say something clever on Facebook, then act like nothing happened.
8. Catch a huge cod in front of her then throw it back and say, "I've caught bigger".
9. Tell her that shes heaps better than all the models I've slept with.
10. Steal her expensive perfume and when she's freaking out say, "Hey I brought you this!", and give her a new bottle of the same perfume.
