Loading #Log...

Media library

Log uploads only. Other folders in your bucket are not included.

Log-000012998-26/10/2026-Ricky-Browne

Reasons I'm sticking to writing short pieces instead of essays and articles:
  • I'm good at writing short bits, I can get them on the page before I get bored with the topic.
  • It's how I started writing in the first place making memes.
  • It provides constraints to my productivity, so I'm more focused and less worried about the ten other types of projects I used to try and complete
  • People don't have the attention span for long reads thanks to reels and tiktoks
  • Video is far too time-consuming, and harder to get right and do well.
  • Besides maybe psychology I know a little about a lot, so all I need to say is one or two things on a certain topic.
  • I love writing short peices.
  • I can spit out a heap of them and have them live in minutes not hours.
  • I'm all over the place so writing short peices allows my to write about twenty things instead of picking ne.
  • I have more resistance to longer writing so I'm more likely to focus on other things and not get the work done.
  • I can group my short writing and turn them into fun reads for Amazon and Google Play
  • It's simple and uncomplicated enough that I am not confused and still improve at it.
  • Most of my existing stuff is short writing put together, so it's time to stay in my lane and make that work, instead of trying to make ten different things happen
  • I can post short writing to Facebook without bombarding people with words.

Log-000010840-13/10/2026-Ricky-Browne

These Are The Headlines, May 5th 2026

  • Fat guy who lost 40kg back on the doughnuts.
  • Today is Bring your short friend to work day.
  • My toes are fine! says local Dubbo woman wearing open-toe sandals.
  • Stool swapping is taking off in Dubbo among residents with various intolerance's.
  • Guy with three eyes on Tinder says, “No luck yet!”
  • Local Dubbo man, Scotty Robinson, tells his friends he once saw Rex Hunt in Woollies at the mall. Friends say his full of shit.
  • Local woman Wendy Newburn gets head stuck in a fence.
  • Mother of three says she loves her kids but wishes she had the courage to get them foster parents.
  • Coming up: the joke that made this well-known Australian celebrity shit themselves.
  • Local Mayor says his fart jokes aren’t for everyone and will tone it down at the next council meeting.

Log-000010837-13/10/2026-Ricky-Browne

Things to say after taking a shit

  • I don't remember eating that.
  • I swear I hadn't eaten any corn lately.
  • I just lost my pancreas.
  • One lump or two?
  • Time for a reno!
  • We need to get new identities and move to Brazil.
  • Somebody go clean that up!
  • Call Dr Ryan; it's happened again.
  • That toilet was hungry.
  • That's a lot of poop for a regularly sized person.
  • Smells like someone took a dump on my dump, but it's just one load.
  • Package delivered; do you want to sign for it?
  • Okay, we're shutting the whole place down.
  • Cordon off the area; it's now a crime scene.
  • Someone set a thirty-minute timer.
  • That one was half-cooked.
  • Evacuate the area; I just evacuated my bowels. It's a code nine emergency!
  • Does anyone wanna come take a look at this?

Log-000010836-13/10/2026-Ricky-Browne

Knock, knock jokes

Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Chicken.
Chicken who?
Would you prefer the pork?

Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Fartarse.
Fartarse who?
You know your old mate Fartarse from Fartarse and Luke’s Vegetables and Tinned Meats.

Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Jack.
Jack who?
Jack me off behind the bushes.

Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Crusty the Clown who?
Hey, hey, hey, hey, I’m Crusty the Clown.
Eat my shorts, aka Prime Bart. Doh!

Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Chicken.
Chicken who?
Buggurk.

Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Moo.
Moo who?
Hh, I’m actually a cow.

Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Shit my pants.
Shit my pants who?
I shit my pants. Can I put my undies in your bin?

Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Brains.
Brains who?
Oh, none here. No worries.

Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Show me.
Show me who?
Show me your tits.

Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Mullemburg.
Mullemburg who?
Mahoni, I’d like to speak to you about car insurance and how much you can save with Youi.

Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Humpty.
Humpty who?
Can you get me down from here?

Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Me.
Me who?
You know who. Please open the door, Jenny. I’m a changed man.

Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Garry, your neighbour.
Garry who?
Can I use your bin?

Log-000010835-13/10/2026-Ricky-Browne

Things to say after farting

  • Who's been smoking?
  • Where would you put that on the smellometer?
  • I eat my veggies.
  • Decompression 32 per cent complete.
  • Some fruity notes.
  • Who said that?
  • Someone put the dog outside.
  • That s got a tinge of bergamot.
  • Fifty PSI was way to much.
  • Is something burning?
  • What's that smell?
  • That's high up on the stinkometer.
  • That's a spicy ancelada no tomata hold the pasta meatball.
  • We have a stage nine imminent threat to the safety of small children, animals and old people.
  • What flavour would you call that?

Log-000010834-13/10/2026-Ricky-Browne

My Favourite Subreddits
  • r/subredditideas
  • r/12daysofchristmas
  • r/AITM Am I the messiah
  • r/I'vebeenwronged
  • r/doIsoundcool
  • r/amifat
  • r/ways to get high
  • r/bigthings
  • r/rate my wife
  • r/wouldbang
  • r/feedingatthetrough
  • r/healthyfuckergetshurt
  • r/lamestories
  • r/dipshits
  • r/axolotalart
  • r/blackswans
  • r/extremesandwiches
  • r/sandwichsandwich
  • r/correctme
  • r/chalengemybullshit
  • r/showusyourtits
  • r/toominimal
  • r/beautifulclutter
  • r/come-uppence
  • r/bigthings
  • r/littlethings
  • r/gotthesnip
  • r/jokesaboutjokes
  • r/funnylookingfish
  • r/bigtyres
  • r/twoturtledoves
  • r/floggingadeadhorse
  • r/wheresmydog
  • r/bigcreatures

Log--10370-13/10/2026-Ricky-Browne

Place to hide your shitty undies:
  • Behind the recycle bins
  • Inside a Tupperware container
  • Stick them in a hedge
  • Throw them up a tree
  • Bury them in the backyard
  • Put them in the dishwasher
  • dissolve them in acid
  • Put them in the freezer in a container of water
  • hide them in the neighbour's mailbox
  • under your sister's bed
  • put them in a bottle and throw it out to sea

Log-000010152-08/10/2026-Ricky-Browne

Song titles I just made up:

  • Come out the back, and I'll spray you down.
  • Dying's not an option when you've got four kids.
  • Song sung red.
  • Pissin' in the corner of the disco.
  • I'll have a shower tomorrow.
  • You're my flavour, Jessie Anne.
  • Fuck off, Josh!

Log--4749-2023-Ricky-Browne

10 Ways to be more loving

1. Drop a cool beat at the shopping centre.

2. Find specials at the shops.

3. Get a haircut that makes me look tough.

4. Find money in the lounge and under the seats of our car.

5. Be really cool around her friends, and be really cool by telling them about my friend's speedboat.

6. Learn about World War II, then constantly talk about World War II.

7. Say something clever on Facebook, then act like nothing happened.

8. Catch a huge cod in front of her then throw it back and say, "I've caught bigger".

9. Tell her that shes heaps better than all the models I've slept with.

10. Steal her expensive perfume and when she's freaking out say, "Hey I brought you this!", and give her a new bottle of the same perfume.

Log-000000130-01/10/2026-Ricky-Browne

Song Titles 2026:
  • Keep it in ya pants.
  • Find your special place.
  • Tip-toe across the tundra.
  • I'm no longer fat, so stop calling me names.
  • Daddy, how do I act cool?
  • Ruth, put your pants back on, my dear.